


Why Does My Phone Keep Going Off?

by gen_z_trash (November_Clouds)



Series: Put Your Phone Away, Peter [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (the sickfic part is ch 14), ? - Freeform, AUTHOR IS BAD AT TAGS OKAY, BAMF May Parker (Spider-Man), BAMF Peter Parker, Bisexual Peter Parker, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Complete, F/M, Flash Thompson Redemption, Fluff, Gay Harley Keener, Gen, Harley Keener as Iron Lad, Humor, Identity Reveal, Illnesses, M/M, Marvel Universe, Meme Lord Peter Parker, Meme Lord Shuri (Marvel), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parley, Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Sickfic, Social Media, Spider-Man Identity Reveal, Texting, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, another one, crackfic, i copied these from my other story, no beta we die like men, not really - Freeform, seriously why, spiderley, techinically, texting au, well he tried to be anyways and that all that matters, what do i pUt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2020-12-28 21:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 6,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21143783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/November_Clouds/pseuds/gen_z_trash
Summary: Tony:Who the hell left the stove on and the fridge open?---Or, another texting fic, because the world needs more of thoseA continuation of twitter will kill us all but can be read as stand alone





	1. Tony Is Not Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony: Who the hell left the stove on and the fridge open?  
Don't make me check the cameras

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is up my dudes, it's me, 2 months later with a new story!  
<strike>This one I am publishing on a mobile device, so the tags will be fixed in roughly 18 hours (don't ask).</strike> I put in the tags, yay. I won't be posting every day, because school, but this should be fun.
> 
> The last paragraph of the last chapter of twkus is not canon. If you're new here, basically, Peter is an Avenger, 18 and also dating Harley. So.. yeah.
> 
> I forgot to mention, I'm moderating comments this time. -_-
> 
> I hope to see the same people reading this, and some new faces, too. Toodles!!

**Avengers Groupchat**

** Tony is online**

**Tony:** Who the hell left the stove on and the fridge open?

  
Don't make me check the cameras  
**  
**

** Peter is online**

**  
Natasha is online**

**  
Clint is online**

**Peter:** Not me, Mr. Stark

  
**Natasha:** It was Clint

  
**Clint:** No it wasn't!

  
Why do people always blame me

**Bucky is online  
**

**Bucky:** Maybe because it usually is you

  
**Clint:** It wasn't this time

**Scott is online**

**Scott:** Not me

  
**Tony:** You dont even stay at the tower...

**Wanda is online**

**  
** **Bruce is online**

  
** Thor is online**

  
** Sam is online**

**Wanda:** Why is my phone going off so much

  
**Bruce:** Some of us are trying to sleep

  
**Thor:** MY SMALL MOBILE DEVICE IS DINGING ALSO

  
**Peter:** Caps, Thor

  
**Thor:** Oh, sorry

  
**Tony:** Sam seems really quiet...

  
**Sam:** I'm sorry okay

  
I was cooking when an actual _bird_ flew in

  
I had to go _catch_ it

  
And I left everything on

  
And now I realize that I shouldn't have done that

  
**Tony:** Who's going to pay for this?

  
**Clint:** Um, you

  
You have billions of dollars...

  
**Tony:** Fine. I'll get you next time, Sam


	2. Flash is a suck-up, Harley is half asleep and Shuri is not happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter: Wow lol Flash is freaking out  
He keeps texting me  
And asking if I’m really Spider-Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Yay!
> 
> This one is for the people who wanted to know how Flash responded to the ID reveal in the last story

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**Peter is online**

**Peter: **Wow lol Flash is freaking out

He keeps texting me

And asking if I’m really Spider-Man

**MJ is online**

**Ned is online**

**MJ:** Pathetic

**Ned:** Wow that’s sad

I bet he regrets existing now

**Harley is online**

**Harley: **tbh I would regret existing if I found out that my sister was a secret superhero

Wait

Is she

Brb

**MJ: **Peter go get your boyfriend

**Peter: **No one can control him

He is wild boi

**Ned: **…anyways

So Peter what did Flash say?

**Peter: **Uhhh

Quote

“Peter, I’m sorry I never believed you about your internship. I’m sorry that I made fun of you in middle school. I hope you can sincerely forgive me for ever doubting you. Regards, Eugene.”

He signed it and everything

**MJ:** Suck up

**Peter: **I’m gonna forgive him

No point in holding a grudge

**Ned:** What why

**Harley:** Ok, she isn’t

She threw a pillow at me and told me to get out of her room

I think I’m safe for now

Unless she lied to me

**Ned: **Go to sleep Harley wtf

**Shuri is online**

**Peter: **Uh oh

**Shuri:** I agree you should all sleep

Like maybe right now

I suggest you do that

Unless you want your phones to explode

**Ned:** Yes ma’am

**Peter: **Right away sir

**Harley: **Working on it

**MJ: **K then

**Shuri: **Good.

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestion box: open  
Kudos button: pressable  
Comment section: empty
> 
> :)


	3. Tatiana Reigns Over All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like most cats, Tatiana likes to climb on things. Tony... is still not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! I'll start writing number 4 in just a sec.

**Avengers Group Chat**

**Steve is online**

**Steve:** Peter, come get your cat

She keeps climbing all over my stuff

**Tony is online**

**Tony:** Yes

Please do

**Everyone is online**

**Bruce: **^^^^

**Wanda:** ^^^^

**Sam:** ^^^^

**Peter: **Ok, ok I’m coming

…

Yeah, I’ll admit she made a mess

Sorry

tatisayssorry.jpg

**Clint:** SHE’S SO CUTE

**Bucky: **That cat may be a menace

But she’s pretty adorable

**Natasha: **True

But she better stay out of my room

**Peter:** Noted

**Thor: **The small creature is very cunning!

She is on the refrigerator!

**Scott: **Ooh, what’ll happen next??

**Tony: **What?

No.

Get her down

I just heard a crash

**Scott:** Called it

**Peter:** …wasn’t me?

**Tony:** PETER!

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEND ME COMMENTS AND ALSO BARBEQUE CHIPS


	4. Sleepover! Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A! sleepover! chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by Mik_Les thanks fam  
There might be a part two who knows

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**Harley is online**

**Harley:** Peter

Peter

Peter

Peter

**Peter is online**

**Peter: **What babe

**Harley: **Peter I’m boreddd

I have nothing to doooo

**Shuri is online**

**Shuri:** Yeah, I’m bored too

My brother dragged me to some meeting

And I need an excuse to get out of them

I’m in Brooklyn

So I could come over

**Ned is online**

**MJ is online**

**Ned: **Yeah, same

My sister has friends over

**MJ:** I have nothing planned for today

Or tomorrow

Or all this week

**Harley:** I wanna sleepover

Let’s have a sleepover

**Peter: **We can do it at the tower

Lemme ask Mr. Stark

**Harley:** YAY

**MJ:** He didn’t say yes yet

**Harley:** But he WILL

**Peter:** He said yes

**Harley: **Told ya so

**Peter: **Kay, everyone be at the Tower in an hour?

**Shuri: **Yup

**Ned:** Ok

**MJ:** Sure

**Harley:** I’m already on my way downstairs

Ffu urwef hur hewuihego

…

I hit a wall

**Everyone is offline**

**Everyone is online**

**MJ: **I have marshmallows

And chocolate

And matches

So we can make smores

**Peter:** …

YAY SMORES

**Shuri:** Won’t Stark say no?

**Ned; **Screw that guy

Smore’s

**Harley:** I AM ALREADY ON A SUGAR HIGH

I HAVE CALLED MY SISTER FIVE TIMES

AND SHE IS ANGRY THAT SHE GETS NO SMORES

**Shuri:** …okay then

What movie?

NOT STAR WARS

**Peter:** I feel attacked

**Ned:** JURRASIC PARK

JURRASIC PARK

JURRASIC PARK

JURRASIC PARK

**MJ: **We can be in blankets

And be happy

**Harley:** Yes I would enjoy that

**Shuri: **I have the popcorn!

**Peter:** The fire is going and the fire alarms are disabled!

Let’s get this bread

Yeet

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me ideas
> 
> or don't
> 
> i
> 
> don't know


	5. Sleepover! Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang decides to watch Jurrasic World afterward...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by MarvelShipsSam4545, thanks fam

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**Everyone is online**

**Ned: **YAAAAY

LET’S WATCH JURRASIC WOLRD NOW

**Shuri: **Lol ok

**MJ:** Idrc

**Harley:** What could go wrong

**Everyone is offline**

**Everyone is online**

**Peter:** Harley

Harles

Hun

Are you okay

You’re really quiet

**Harley:** …

He

He looked like me

I don’t

Understand

**Ned:** ???

**Shuri:** ^^^^

**MJ:** I think he’s broken…..

**Peter:** …harley?

**Harley:** The kid

Gray

He looked just like me

When I was a kid

I don’t understand…

Are we in a dream?????

ARE WE ALL PEOPLE PLAYED BY ACTORS IN THIS STRANGE SCI FI WORLD

I AM SO CONFUSED

WHAT

**MJ:** …

**Ned: **Mood

**Shuri:** Mood

**Peter: **Ok, he’s going to bed now

Say goodnight Harles

**Harley:** Goodnight Harles

**Peter:** 😊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <strike>Kaaaay so I need to decide on colleges for everyone </strike>  
<strike>If you wanna do MIT say MIT but I wanna hear other colleges too</strike>  
I got them, thanks!!!!!!
> 
> Everyone's degrees:  
Peter: (Freshman at MIT)  
Major: Physics  
Minor: Bio-Chemistry
> 
> Ned: (Freshman at Columbia)  
Major: Robotic Engineering  
Minor: Computer Science
> 
> MJ: (Freshman at Oxford)  
Major: Business  
Minor: Women's Studies
> 
> Harley: (Sophomore at MIT)  
Major: Electrical Engineering  
Minor: Physics
> 
> Shuri's not in college because she's in Wakanda doing research  
And everyone meets up every other weekend courtesy of Tony's money


	6. College is Super Scary, Okay!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter: Ahhhh  
AHHHHHH  
CLASS STARTS TOMORROW  
AHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! It's me again!!!  
An AcaDec chapter???? Whoa!!!!

**(former) acadec people of the world**

**Everyone is online**

**Peter: **Ahhhh

AHHHHHH

CLASS STARTS TOMORROW

AHHHHHH

I AM NOT PREPARED

NO GUYS HELP AHH

**MJ: **Peter

Calm

Down

**Abe: **^^^^^^

**Cindy:** Peter, you’re super smart, you’ll totally be fine!!!

Just take a deep breath in

And r e l a x

**Peter:** Thanks Cindy 😊

**Cindy:** Yw

**Betty:** To be honest tho, I’m kinda nervous

NYU doesn’t start for another week

But like

What if I fail???

What if I don’t find a good job???

What if I can’t pay off student loans???

The struggle is real

**Ned:** Betty, you are one of the smartest people I know

You’re not gonna fail

All the papers are going to be begging for you to join them

And you’re going to be a bazillionaire

**MJ:** You’ll be fine Brant

Just study hard, try your best, overcome everyday obstacles, choose good friends, stay in touch with yourself and you’ll pass

**Betty:** Awww, thanks guys

**Charles:** We should enjoy our freedom while we can

My brother says some teachers are going to give a lot of work to do (reading textbooks, researching the topics on the syllabus) and some are just gonna be like ‘Hi I’m Jon and I’m scared of bears’

**Flash:** Yeah, it be like that sometimes

**Ned:** Hey Flash

I notice you’ve just been lurking

Any reason why

_Eugene_

**Flash:** Uh no

Definitely not

Oh shoot, my mom’s calling me, gtg bye

**Flash is offline**

**Cindy:** Is he still hung up over Peter being Spider-Man

I kinda knew the whole time

**Peter:** Wait what

**MJ: **It was kind of obvious Peter

You suck at secrets

**Peter:** -_-

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed me ideas and Twix please


	7. It's Mina!!!! Again!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mina is back and better (the same) as ever!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people! I hate this chapter so much!  
If you're new here, Mina is a character (who knew Peter's identity for a little while before everyone else) from my last story! Read chapters 40 and 58 of twitter will kill us all to get a little background knowledge about her.  
But yeah!

**Peter Parker > Mina O’Day**

**Peter:** Hey 😊

We haven’t talked in a while

You free rn?

**Mina:** Hey!!!!!!

Yeah, totally, I just finished my finances class, I’m about to get on the train

How’ve you been?

**Peter:** Pretty good, school just started, it’s super fun actually

My favorite class is organic chemistry, super cool

But I’m nervous

What if I fail everything???????

**Mina:** Nothing to be nervous about, you’re a smart kid

I hear you got into MIT, too, that’s a really good school!

My brother was looking to go to Boston University, but he didn’t want to be away from my parents

**Peter:** Yeah, it kinda sucks being away from Queens, but Mr. Stark flies me over every two weekends, so it’s not that bad

Enough about my life

What’s new with you?

**Mina:** I actually am no longer single!!!!!

😊

**Peter:** Tell.

Me.

Everything.

**Mina:** His name is Jacob and he’s 19 and suupperr cute

He reminds a lot of you, actually

He’s such a nerd, but he’s my nerd and I love him

jakey.jpg

**Peter:** I’m so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He looks like a real good guy

But

I am offended

I am not a nerd

**Mina:** You sure about that?

**Peter:** Harley can testify

…

K, no, he agrees with you

Ned can testify

….

Nope

**Mina:** Ask MJ

**Peter:** I don’t even have to ask her

*sighhhhhhhhhh*

Welp, I guess I am a nerd

I always thought of myself more as a geek

**Mina:** Lol

You’re def both

Oh shoot, I have to go, I’m so sorry!!!

**Peter:** Totally fine!

Bye!

**Mina:** Bye!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit, the only reason I wrote a chapter was to ask you guys something.
> 
> You know those two stories by an author whose name I can't remember? And the Avengers (who were lowkey rude to Tony) read the stories "Spectacular Ignorance" by darke wulf and "Textbook" by Mouse-size-Dragon on ff.net? What was the name of the stories? I remember they read the stories and reacted and it was really good and I can't remember who wrote them! Could ya help a girl out? Thanks!!!!!!!
> 
> (Spectacular Ignorance: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8161288/1/Spectacular-Ignorance)  
(Textbook: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8595421/1/Textbook)


	8. Tony is Always There, Even When It’s Dark Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petey had nightmare :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! i low-key hate this chapter!!

**Tony Stark > Peter Parker**

**Tony:** I heard you up last night

In the kitchen

Want to talk about it?

**Peter:** Oh

Sorry I woke you

It was just a nightmare

It felt too real

Sorry

**Tony:** I don’t want to ever hear you apologize for being human again

It’s human to have scars and scars take time to heal

A nightmare is just another one of those scars

**Peter:** I won’t apologize again, I promise :)

It was terrifying

Black and dark and suffocating

I was in the soul stone again

I just couldn’t breathe in there

I thought the last few months were just a dream and I was still inside

**Tony:** It must’ve been hard kiddo, I’m sorry you had to go through that

But it wasn’t real, and _you are here with me_

It’s okay Pete

I just want you to know that you can go to me whenever you need to talk, or even if you just want to listen

I know a thing or two about trauma

**Peter:** Thanks, Mr. Stark

:)

I feel a lot better now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its short
> 
> send me ideas, im dying down here


	9. You See Me Flying, You See Me Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley: Peter  
I was thinking  
I wanna be a superhero too  
Please  
Petey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chappie idea by Ajspaniel, thanks fam
> 
> This one is long(er) so yeah thats good

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**Harley is online**

**Harley: **Peter

I was thinking

I wanna be a superhero too

Please

Petey

Tony said no

You’ll let me

Right

Please

puppyeyes.jpg

**Peter is online**

**Ned is online**

**MJ is online**

**Shuri is online**

**Peter: ** Sorry

Those eyes are super cute

But

No

**Harley:** But whyyyyyyyy

**Peter:** If u got hurt, I would d i e

N o

Not my soft boi

**Harley:** But you’re my soft boi

**Peter:** But I was a superhero before we were together

And we wouldn’t have met if I wasn’t

**Ned:** This is better than any romance novel, u guys are too cute

**Shuri: **^^^^^^^^

**MJ:** ^^^^^^^

**Harley:** :(

**Harley is offline**

**Peter: **Welp, okay, glad I stopped that trainwreck

**Everyone is offline**

**Harley is online**

**Harley: **GUYS I BUILT A SUIT

Call me… Iron Lad….

**MJ is online**

**Ned is online**

**Shuri is online**

**MJ:** You’re such a dork

Wait

What

Dude why did you build a suit

**Harley:** I WANNA FLY

ITS HAPPENING

**Peter is online**

**Peter: **Guys I’m in class what are you doing

WAIT

HARLEY

NO

NOONONONONONO

DUDE

BRO

BABE

WHY

UFRHEBXUEHDUIRH OMW

**Shuri:** Harley you idiot

**Harley:** Owwwwwwwwwwwww

:(

**Peter:** You guys wanna know what he did

You wanna know

Take a guess

This (actual prodigy genius superstar) boi forgot

To put

THE DAMN JET BOOTS IN

GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK

He fell like fifteen feet

But it was many fifteen feet

**Shuri:** BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HARLEY

DUDE

**Harley:** :((((((((

U guys r mean

**Ned:** You’re the one that plunged almost two stories because you wanted to fly

**MJ:** How could you forget that part?

**Peter:** Harley is banned from building crap for 89.5 years now

And Harles

I told Mr. Stark

So

Look forward to that

**Shuri:** Send me a video of that happening

**Peter:** He’s going now

He says screw you, Shuri

Bye

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Me when I was texting myself notes for writing](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ZbzuGSCWpck/Xdnq9p0UP2I/AAAAAAAAEoE/x7iEkMQPVeM8iATasCiwgg7u-ZYxORJaACK8BGAsYHg/s0/If%2Byou%2Bbe%2Breading%2Bthe%2Burl%2Bdont%2Bjudge.png)  
(these are for the chapter I was planning but then I was like naaah i want to write this insted)


	10. A Stealth Mission and a Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley calls Peter while he's on a stealth mission with Nat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by Ajspaniel, thanks fam

**Peter Parker > Natasha Romanoff**

**Peter: **Nat, what’s your status?

I’m in the west wing

Moving inward

**Natasha:** At the security hold on

Sorry

Yeah its down

**Peter:** Cool, cool

Alright, so where did you come from

Just get down already

Ahhhhh you suck

Sorry, a bad guy attacked me

**Natasha: **I could tell

**Peter:** I can hear your smirk in Karen’s voice

That’s so mean Nat

**Natasha:** I am mean

**Peter:** K where are you

Wait wait wait

Why is my phone ringing

I put it on silent

**Natasha:** Peter, they’re going to hear

**Peter:** It must be Harley

He rigged my phone to always ring when its him or Mr. Stark calling

But Mr. Stark knows we’re doing stealth

**Natahsa: **Peter, pick up

Now

**Peter:** Picking up

**Harley Keener > Peter Parker**

**Transcript**

**Harley:** Peter! Why didn’t you pick up? I saw something super funny and texted you but you didn’t respond.

**Peter:** Harley. Babe. I’m on a mission.

**Harley:** Ohmygodimsosorryididntknowohimsosorrypleasetellmeitwasntstealth [unintelligible]

**Peter: **It’s okay Harley, no damage done! It was stealth, but we’re at the end of the mission, so all that is out the window, so it’s fine. Hey, it isn’t nice to point guns at people!

**Harley:** Are you doing your fighting thing? Wow, Peter, your superhero voice is so hot.

**Peter:** Harles! Gotta go!

**Harley:** Right, sorry!

**Peter Parker has ended the call**

**Peter Parker > Natasha Romanoff**

**Peter:** Nat, I got the intel

Let’s get out of here

**Natasha:** Sure

**Peter: **Why are you looking at me like that?

**Natasha:** You and Harley are too cute together

**Peter:** I know, right

Our ride is here

Let’s go! I want pizza!

**Natasha:** On it, boss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I haven't even looked at this story because I've had a lot going on. I moved and am currently sitting in the new house!  
So, here's to another chapter!
> 
> Send ideas, I'll get to them eventually


	11. I See Frogs When I Close My Eyes at Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter: Guys there may be a problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's me again! I felt bad about not updating, so here I am!  
Chappie idea by Ajspaniel, thanks fam

**Avengers Group Chat**

**Peter is online**

**Peter:** Guys there may be a problem

EVERYONE ONLINE NOW

…

@FRIDAY Call everyone to the Avengers Chat

**FRIDAY:** Will do, Spider-Man

**Everyone is online**

**Wanda:** God, Peter, did you have to ask Friday?

I was doing something _important_ and then she CLOSES ALL OF MY TABS

**Scott:** I DON’T EVEN LIVE AT THE TOWER WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??

**Peter: **Oh sorry

@FRIDAY create label ‘Tower Avengers’ and notify people accordingly

**FRIDAY:** Label created

**Scott:** THANK YOU

**Scott is offline**

**Tony:** All of you guys are whining

But I was doing company stuff

And I didn’t save the documents

**FRIDAY:** The documents were saved, Boss

**Tony:** Well yeah, BUT STILL

**Steve:** Let’s just hear what the problem was, guys

**Clint:** lEt’s jUsT HeAr wHaT ThE PrObLeM WaS, gUyS

**Natasha:** Childish

**Peter:** ANYWAYS

Imayhaveaccidentallyletloose50frogsinthetowerandicantfindthemall

**Tony:** @FRIDAY

**FRIDAY:** Translation: ‘I may have accidentally let loose 50 frogs in the tower and I can’t find them all’

**Sam:** YOU WHAT

**Bucky:** ^^^^^^^

**Clint:** Good one Peter!

I can’t imagine what Tony’s face looks like right now!

**FRIDAY:** tonystarkface02437.png

**Tony:** PETER WHY

WHY

WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE 50 FROGS

**Peter:** IT WAS FOR AN EXPERIMENT

AND I LEFT THE CAGE OPEN FOR ONE SECOND

AND THEY ESCAPED

**Bucky:** Good one getting out of this one, kid

**Peter:** I need your guys’ help

:(

sad.png

**Tony:** No, you will do it alone

**Natasha:** I’ll help you Peter

**Peter:** 😊

**Clint:** …

**Wanda:** Ok then

I’m leaving now

**Steve:** Yes, I have better things to do

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched Frozen 2 AND IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE! Kind of dark themes, Olaf was really meta, but the animation was KILLER, and the soundtrack was FIRE and 'Lost in the Woods' will make you laugh out loud, I PROMISE YOU! Anna's song 'Next Right Thing' was a tear-jerker and I really felt for her. 'All is Found' was a really good song, too, it gets inside your s o u l. See it in theaters cuz it's better on the big screen (I swear I'm not sponsored lol) I will discuss the movie in the comments if you like SO BEWARE OF SPOILERS.  
.  
.  
I'm at the end of my idea rope, so if no one sends me ideas, there will be no more chapters (for a while) ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Stay safe, bye!


	12. I think it’s my jeans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned: What are some of the dumb things we did this past year?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am _ so sorry _ that I haven't been updating this story. I kinda lost interest. I'm going to make a goal of updating twice a month because this whole 'unstructured updating schedule' thing is bad for my productivity lol. If it's the last 5 days of the month and I haven't updated twice, feel free to yell at me :)
> 
> ill be honest i lost interest in this fandom, but i promise i wont abandon the story 

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**Peter is online**

**Peter:** What is 17+8

Oh shoot this isn’t siri

**Everyone is online**

**Ned:** Yesterday I had to look up the capital of New York City

And then I realized it was Albany

And then I realized NYC didn’t have a capital

Because it's a city

**MJ:** I pretend to be the sane one

I forgot how to spell cashmere and put ‘cashmeere’ in my English essay

**Shuri:** …

I was holding my keys as I tore my lab apart looking for them

**Harley:** Someone said ow and I asked them to repeat what they said

**Peter:** Why are we such idiots

**MJ:** It’s genetic or some crap

**Ned:** Sounds about right

What are some of the dumb things we did this past year?

Or even… in general

**Peter:** Ate insulation off the ground

**Harley:** PETER

**Peter:** I THOUGHT IT WAS COTTON CANDY

**Harley:** Fair, I tried to put out a fire with a tissue

**Shuri:** Crashed into a glass door

**Harley:** I tried to snooze my alarm by squeezing my earlobe

**Peter:** When I was 8 I threw a tantrum because the dress a tv character was wearing was “so not her color”

**Ned:** I jumped on a rake to be tom from tom and jerry

MJ didn’t you do stupid stuff too?

**MJ: **No I am immune to stupidity

**Peter:** …

**MJ:** … I cut my brothers hair into a ‘mohawk’ the day before picture day

My mom called him in sick

**Shuri:** DAMN EVEN MJ GOT THE FOOL SKILLS

**Peter:** I KNEW MJ WAS A DUMB KID TOO

Oh sh00t I need to finish my math

Hruhef8uhsf

**Everyone is offline**

**Ned is online**

**Ned:** Did you guys notice you can change your names now??

**Ned changed his name to soft boi**

**Ned has changed MJ’s name to tsundre**

**Ned has changed Harley’s name to rocket boots**

**Ned has changed Shuri’s name to secret small brain**

**Ned has changed Peter’s name to spooder**

**Ned is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun facts:  
The story about saying "ow" happened to me, but I was the one who said ow and immediately after the other kid said "what??" his friend said "she said ow stupid"
> 
> The alarm story and the "not her color" story were from my friend (the dress one was her younger cousin)
> 
> Some came from [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7yaiw6/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_done_for/) reddit thread
> 
> The others I just made up
> 
> Also I added the names to motivate me to write :/
> 
> I have this habit of jumping into a fandom, getting obsessed and then promptly leaving. So far, I have done this with PJO, Outsiders, and Marvel. SO I D A R E YOU TO GUESS MY NEW FANDOM. GUESS. D O I T. Use all resources, kids.  

> 
> Send me ideas _ please, _ I've run out.


	13. Being a baby is for babies, my fellow baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the flashhh: Sigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EYYYYYY its me with a chapter! (i told u guys to screech at me if i didn't update, no one did, so i *reads off hand* took i-initiative?
> 
> Chapter idea by frozenchaos9 thanks fam
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh

**(former) acadec people of the world**

**the flashhh is online**

**the flashhh: **Sigh

…

_sigh_

**ny cindy is online**

**ny cindy:** ???

**the flashhh:** SIGH

**tsundre is online**

**soft boi is online**

**essential crisis is online**

**betty boop is online**

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs is online**

**jbj is bae is online**

**tsundre:** Is there something you need flash

**the flashhh:** The prof was handing out a syllabus and I got a papercut

it hurtssssssssss

**soft boi:** Dude…

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs:** You’re eighteen years old flash

**jbj is bae:** Not even I complain that much

**the flashhh:** BUT IT HURTS AND IM BROKE SO I DON’T HAVE BANDAGES OKAY

**essential crisis:** SO GO TO THE NURSE

**the flashhh:** I don’t wanna walk all the way ☹

**betty boop:** Quit being a baby flash

**spooder is online**

**soft boi:** Here it comes…

**spooder: **Hey flash

GETTI G SHOT IS ETTER THA HEARI G YOU WHI E

**the flashhh:** …

**betty boop:** Who knew peter had it in him

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs:** DAMMMNNNN SHOTS FIRED

**spooder:** Im just saying flash, shut up I have a huge test tomorrow

**spooder is offline**

**the flashhh is offline**

**essential crisis:** Peter really scared him off

huh

**jbj is bae:** Welp I gotta skedaddle

**jbj is bae is offline**

**essential crisis:** W-what.. did he say

**betty boop:** mood

bye

**Everyone is offline**

**spooder is online**

**spooder:** I think I did good on that test

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs is online**

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs:** Back to your normal self?

**spooder:** ????

wait

I ACTUALLY SENT THAT

I THOUGHT I WAS DREAMING

FLASH IM SO SO SORRY I WAS REALLY TIRED AND STUDYING ALL NIGHT I KNOW ITS NOT AN EXCUSE BUT IM SO SORRY

**Everyone is online**

**soft boi:** There he is

**the flashhh:** It

it’s fine

**tsundre:** It was nice having mean peter

he will be missed

rest in peace, 2023-2023

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna make Sally's name existential crisis but i didn't know how to spell it and my autocorrect changed it to essential crisis it seemed more fitting.
> 
> If it wasn't implied, they changed their names before the chapter took place  
Also peter is tired boi


	14. A game of Infection but with real germs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> irondad: What's up kid?
> 
> spooder: i'm siiiiicccckkkkk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by Ajspaniel, thanks fam
> 
> Here's my first chap for February   
I set a number of chapters for this story (23) so there's that
> 
> Name Help!  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**Avengers Group Chat**

**spooder is online**

**spooder: **Sigh

…

_sigh_

**vent lord lord of the vents is online**

**vent lord lord of the vents: **Not everyone can respond within 2 seconds of you sending your message, kid

not even tony can

**irondad is online**

**irondad: **Shut up clint yes I can

What's up kid?

**spooder:** i'm siiiiicccckkkkk

**little red riding hood is online**

**little red riding hood: **we know

**spooder: **my head hurrtttttsssss

**little red riding hood: **we know

**rogers that is online**

**rogers that: **wanda, he's in pain

**little red riding hood: **yeah well who cares

**widow is online**

**widow: **????????????

**spooder:** wow wanda what do you have against me

**little red riding hood: **YOU GOT ME SICK TOO YOU DUMB SPIDER I'VE BEEN THROWING UP FOR THE PAST HOUR

**spooder:** I AM SO SORRY I DIDNT KNOW IM SORRY WANDA 

BIG SIS

I WILL MAKE YOU SOUP 

**irondad:** _I'll _make the soup

you're still sick, too, kid

**spooder:** thanks mr. stark

sorry wanda

**Everyone is offline**

**birb is online**

**birb:** I

have never thrown up so much in my life

what kind of bug is going around the tower

**spooder is online**

**little red riding hood is online**

**spooder: **IM SORRY I DONT KNOW HOW IT GOT TO YOU

**little red riding hood: **i hope its not because of me youre sick im sorry too

**vent lord lord of the vents is online**

**vent lord lord of the vents: ***is grateful it took sam and not me*

**birb:** Oh.

**vent lord lord of the vents: **wh-

**vent lord lord of the vents: **why does that scare me so much

**birb:** Don’t worry about it

**vent lord lord of the vents: **Sam

Sam no

don't do it

Get away from me

r3ugfuierhdifuc3rheudsfh

**spooder:** SAM NO 

**vent lord lord of the vents: **HE COUGHED ON ME

WHY SAM WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

**Everyone is offline**

**vent lord lord of the vents is online**

**vent lord lord of the vents: **I

I got a different

version

of the bug

**widow is online**

**widow: **Do we want to know

**vent lord lord of the vents: **No

**irondad is online**

**rogers that is online**

**irondad:** We should probably quarantine everyone who’s sick

because I am _not _getting sick too

if I get sick, morgan gets sick, and then pepper, and that is something we cannot have

**rogers that:** if you’re sick, say ‘aye’

**spooder: **Aye

**little red riding hood: **Aye

**birb:** Aye

**vent lord lord of the vents: **Aye

**irondad:** All of you can stay on peter’s floor

if you need something, FRIDAY will send it up

NO ONE ELSE BETTER GET SICK

**widow: **No one else was planning to

**irondad: **good

**Everyone is offline**

(One week later)

**irondad is online**

**irondad:** how did all of us get sick i-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (peter is 18 but he is very clingy when sick)  
(wanda apologized to peter in person)  
(wanda gets vvv emotional when sick)  
(sam gets angry)  
(clint is clingy)  
(morgan is the worst bc she cries and cries and cries)
> 
> I have two chapters lined up, so send me more prompts for after that


	15. I pranked my boyfriend (GONE WRONG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spooder: I have something big planned spread the word to ned and shuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by allikatt, thanks fam!!  
Second chap for February  
(Sorry its so late, i swear i posted another one but i didn't)
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**spooder > tsundere**

**spooder: **I have something big planned spread the word to ned and shuri

**tsundere:** ???

why not Harley

**spooder:** the something big is pranking him shhhhhh don’t tell him plz

**tsundere:** k

**spooder:** you’re the best!

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**spooder is online**

**spooder:** behold the greatest achievement of my life

[Video of a camera propped up in the corner of a dorm room. Harley walks in quickly with a backpack and in his haste, doesn’t notice the string attached to the door knob. Turning the doorknob pulls a string which pulls on a bucket hanging from the ceiling which releases a large water balloon onto Harley’s head. As Harley sputters, the chain reaction continues and glitter is thrown onto him as well. Through a process not shown on camera, hundreds of bouncy balls are dropped from the ceiling, bouncing ominously around Harley. Peter comes out from his hiding place and laughs. “REVENGE!” he yells. Harley screams.]

**soft boi is online**

**rocket boots is online**

**soft boi: **W-what?

How did that work?

**spooder:** just call me the master of rube goldberg machines

**rocket boots:** HOW DID YOU DO ALL THAT IN THREE HOURS

I AM SO CONFUSED

HOW DID YOU SET THAT UP

PLAN IT??

**spooder:** rob’s got an entire book of them

**rocket boots:** I AM GOING TO KILL HIM WHY WOULD HE SIDE WITH YOU IN THE PRANK WAR

**spooder:** I just asked for his book

**secret small brain is online**

**tsundere is online**

**secret small brain: **hah!

He got you good

**tsundere:** this is not what I had in mind when you said you had something big planned

But I approve

**soft boi:** who is rob?

**rocket boots: **a dead man

**spooder:** our roommate :p

he’s an engineering major lol

I asked for his help in our prank war

**soft boi:** that was pretty epic dude

**spooder:** all in a day’s work

**rocket boots:** I’ll get you next time, parker

**spooder: **I’d like to see you try

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have I think like two chapters lined up and there are like 8 more after that so yeah!
> 
> (i have no idea how im going to end this plz give me ideas also there are no more works in this series so im not doing another sequel lol)


	16. Super Senses and Super Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spooder: before I got my powers I never thought about the way hormones and stuff smell  
but they smell pretty cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyy its me and its march and its raining outside and half my face is numb from the dentist, so we're doing this  
Chapter idea by frozenchaos9, thanks fam ur comments always make me smile
> 
> Name help!  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**(former) acadec people of the world**

**spooder is online**

**spooder: **before I got my powers I never thought about the way hormones and stuff smell

but they smell pretty cool

**betty boop is online**

**betty boop:** what do they smell like??

**spooder:** idk how to describe it

like…

some smell sweeter? And sweat smells _horrible_

but pregnant people smell rlly good

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs is online**

**ny cindy is online**

**essential crisis is online**

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs: **when was the last time you came in contact w a pregnant person?

Cuz that’s kinda weird

**the flashhh is online**

**the flashhh: ** I sensed parker being made fun of whats going on

**ny cindy:** scroll up

**spooder:** ok so don’t tell anyone

(but mj’s mom is having a baby)

**tsundere is online**

**tsundere:** what

what

what did you just say

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs: **oh that’s how

**tsundere: **you better not be lying parker

you better not be messing around

**jbj is bae is online**

**soft boi is online**

**soft boi: **things are getting intense

are you going to tell her, MJ?

**jbj is bae: **MJ cannot come to the phone right now due to an existential crisis, please leave a message after the beep

**essential crisis:** *beep*

**spooder:** im so sorry Mj, I didn’t mean to make u upset

**tsundere:** no…

its fine…

im not going to tell her

she’ll figure it out soon

…

This is pretty exciting actually

I hope I get a sister so we can fight the patriarchy together

**soft boi: ** she’s back!

**the flashhh:** well I have to get back to work procrastinating

**jbj is bae:** same

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please send me ideas on how to end this story !!!!!


	17. harry potter harry poTTER HARRY POTTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spooder: I was rereading the books and I STAN HERMIONE  
SHE’S THE BEST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by reccomend_me_fics, thanks fam!
> 
> This is a little late, but as of 9/5/20, I no longer support JK Rowling. However, this chapter will stay up.
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**spooder is online**

**spooder: **Guys remember when we did our Hogwarts houses last summer

**soft boi is online**

**tsundere is online**

**secret small brain is online**

**rocket boots is online**

**soft boi: ** yeah

**spooder: **I was rereading the books and I STAN HERMIONE

SHE’S THE BEST

**tsundere: **she’s goals

she’s smart, more capable than harry and ron together and doesn’t end up with the main character

rowling wrote her character really well

**rocket boots: **but she was kinda close minded

she refused to believe in the deathly hallows

and she was mean to luna :/

**secret small brain: ** not every character is perfect, colonizer

**rocket boots: **I’m just saying, she’s not as perfect as you’re making her look

(but she still is one of the best characters)

**spooder: **so anyways

luna is such an underappreciated character

she’s not afraid to be weird

and her whole house makes fun of her but she doesn’t care

**soft boi: **luna is amazing

**rocket boots: **agreed

**spooder: **and I found out that Umbridge is based off of a real person and if that isn’t the scariest thing ive heard then idk what is

**secret small brain: **umbridge can jump off a bridge

**soft boi: **what kind of government encourages a teacher to interrogate and torture the students? How did no parents complain?

It just never made sense to me

**tsundere: **tbh if harry potter took place in the states it would’ve been sued into the ground

also they didn’t teach basic math skills -_-

or anything besides magic

they could’ve at least had a latin class but noooooo

we’re gonna let these kids go into the world not knowing what a spell does until they cast it

**spooder:** will it blow up? will it clean my dishes? who knows, not a Hogwarts graduate

**rocket boots: **I think everyone can agree that the world building could’ve been better

but the plot of six of the books was good

*cough* half blood prince *cough*

**secret small brain: **I liked the third book best

Sirius was great inspiration for many inventions

**tsundere: **I liked the fifth

**rocket boots: **fourth

**soft boi: **third

**spooder: **idk I liked the second book

**rocket boots: **I’m sorry peter we can’t see each other anymore I’m breaking up with you

**spooder:** it’s a good book!

**soft boi: **it was mediocre at best

**spooder: **you guys just can’t appreciate ginny

**secret small brain: **no I liked ginny

the book was just bad

**spooder: **:’(

**tsundere:** the movies killed ginny’s character

but that’s a discussion for another day

I have to write an essay

**rocket boots: **peter’s procrastinating as we speak

so we gotta go

**soft boi: **bye

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided the last chapter will be the end of the school year (so finals and stuff) So there are 4 chapters I have no idea for. I wanna do something with Morgan but idk what. So ideas? Ty.
> 
> Is anyone else going crazy at home? Because I sure am.  
Everyone _ please _ stay safe, okay! COVID-19 is very real, and even if you aren't at risk, others are and you could get them sick. Just stay inside and read fics!!!


	18. Apparently Peter isn’t the only spider-person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spooder: oh did I ever mention he wasn’t the first talking animal I’ve met

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by frozenchaos9, tHaNkS fAm
> 
> me: oh, because of quarantine i'll write more!  
me: *reads fanfiction all day and ignores my story*
> 
> oops
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**Avengers Group Chat**

**spooder is online**

**spooder: **guys

guyyyyys

guys I just saw a kid with half white half red hair imagine how hard that must’ve been to dye

but he said it was natural????????

**Everyone is online**

**irondad: **he was probably messing with you kid

hair doesn’t grow like that

**vent lord lord of the vents: **that’s really the weirdest thing you’ve seen??????

Once I rescued a guy just sitting in the open. Playing a piano. It was like he didn’t even see the aliens swooping down

**widow: **I was undercover at a church and a little girl starting handing oranges to people randomly her parents were mortified

**rogers that: **a lady ran out of a museum yelling “I STOLE THIS IN FIFTEEN MINUTES”

**summer civilian: **none of you have mentioned the talking raccoon who wanted my arm

**spooder: **oh did I ever mention he wasn’t the first talking animal I’ve met

**birb: **??? who else have you met???

**spooder: **a few years ago there was this really loud like sucking sound? so I started to investigate

and there was a pig in a spider suit who sounded like john mulaney

**god of thunder: **he is the comedian, is he not?

**spooder:** his hands were really sweaty and it was weird

he said his name was spider ham??????

and he was bitten by a radioactive pig???

**the ant king: **i beg your pardon what

**spooder: **Anyways its was like 3am so I figured I was hallucinating and I went home

But then like 6 months later he was back?

And this time there was another kid in a black spider suit

**little red riding hood: **how many spider people are there?

**irondad: **save it for comic con

**spooder: **so the kid said his name was miles and that the pig was another spider man

I had an hour left on patrol so I just

left

**professor brucie bear: **is it possible in another universe someone made a device that can take you to other dimensions?

**the ant king: **that’s not possible

right?

**irondad: **……..

**rogers that: **tony don’t do it

**irondad: **I MUST

**spooder: **I’ll add pepper

**irondad: **I WON’T

**birb: **good

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of the stories were from reddit, some from tumblr  
did anyone catch the reference in this chapter (besides into the spiderverse)
> 
> i need ideas for like two more chapters?????? yeah. 
> 
> PLEASE STAY SAFE YOU GUYS  
bye :)


	19. Thank you Peter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soft boi: are we thanking peter for stuff?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by *checks comments* frozenchaos9, thanks.  
lol most of my ideas come from them  
two chapters????? in seven days????? UNHEARD OF
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**(former) acadec people of the world Group Chat**

**ny cindy is online**

**ny cindy: **peter!!! Thanks for saving me today lol I wasn’t looking where I was going

**spooder is online**

**spooder: **drivers in new york are crazy its not a big deal

**soft boi is online**

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs is online**

**soft boi: **are we thanking peter for stuff?

Thanks for saving my sister from that guy

I cant imagine what would happen if he took her

**spooder: **you’re welcome

I’ll fight for ur sister anytime (ง•̀o•́)ง

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs: **my grandmother keeps talking about how spiderman helped her with her groceries so thanks

**betty boop is online**

**essential crisis is online**

**tsundere is online**

**betty boop: **oh yeah thanks peter for everything u do!

**essential crisis: **apparently u helped my girlfriend once from these guys she was scared but then u were there so yeah thanks

**tsundere: **class, say thank you to peter for coming to see us today

**the flashhh is online**

**soft boi: **THANK YOU

**ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs: **THANK YOU

**essential crisis: **THANK YOU

**betty boop: ***five year old voice* THANK YOU

**the flashhh: ***old man voice* THANK YOU

**spooder: **aww thanks u guys

but

mj

MJ

MJ YOU GOTTA STOP JAYWALKING I SWEAR TO GOD

YOU’RE GONNA DIE IF U KEEP DOING THIS

NEW YORK DOES NOT CARE

_STOP JAYWALKING_

**tsundere: **no

**spooder: **MICHELLE

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyy so im writing a chapter with morgan WHAT SHOULD IT BE ABOUT  
also i want to poll something:  
what country are you guys from? i wanna know where my readers are from (i could probably check from stats but i dont wanna)
> 
> comment!!! it gives me l i f e  
also to those who caught the todoroki <strike>chapter in the last reference</strike> reference in the last chapter u guys are the REAL real mvp


	20. Who's your Daddy? (or Mommy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spooder: have u guys read percy jackson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by NoOneReallyGives thanks mate
> 
> (im supposed to be doing schoolwork shhhh)
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**Avengers Group Chat**

**spooder is online**

**spooder: **have u guys read percy jackson

**irondad is online**

**irondad: **Peter it’s 3am

go to sleep

**spooder: **please refer to chapter 30 of the previous story

**irondad: **what

**spooder: **what

**vent lord lord of the vents is online**

**vent lord lord of the vents: **Who hasn’t read them

Cooper was obsessed with those books and then he got me hooked

**spooder: **see mr. stark im not the only avenger awake

wait… mr stark you should be asleep too

**irondad: **Morgan keeps me awake and now I don’t know how to fix my sleep schedule

**spooder: **lol rip

anyways do you guys know your godly parents

bc I want to know

**professor brucie bear is online**

**professor brucie bear: **Does no one sleep in this tower

**spooder: **no where would you get that idea from

**professor brucie bear: **Fine

Mine would be Athena

Goddess of wisdom

**widow is online**

**widow: **Artemis

**widow is offline**

**spooder: **but shes

okay then

**irondad: **Hephaestus god of metalworking or Athena goddess of wisdom

**spooder: **same

wait does that make us brothers

**irondad: **God, no, that’s weird

**vent lord lord of the vents: **Anyways mine would be Apollo

Because archery

**irondad: **yes we get it Katniss

**vent lord lord of the vents: **rude

**rogers that is online**

**rogers that: **I tried to ignore this chat but I guess that is impossible

**spooder: **hahah he thinks he can get rid of us

**rogers that: **There’s only one God

**irondad: **(and he doesn’t dress like that)

**rogers that: **But I suppose mine would be

**summer civilian is online**

**summer civilian: **God of stupidity

**spooder: **so zeus then?

**blue food is online**

**blue food: **I heard someone roasting Zeus and I came as fast as I could

**irondad: **who the hell are you

**blue food: **who knows anymore

**blue food is offline and will never come back**

**rogers that: **I think I’m hallucinating

**irondad: **Yeah, I don’t know who that was

**spooder: **ANYWAYS

since everyone else is asleep like cowards

thor is a god himself but he would be zeus’s kid

wanda would be hecate

bucky is philotes god of friendship 😊

sam is zephyr, the west wind

yeah I think that’s it

**irondad: **will you please go to sleep now

**spooder: **no promises

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> percy traveled from the books into the real world just to join the gc change my mind
> 
> i was wondering if people in australia call their boyf/girlf boymate and girlmate bc if they do t h a t s w a c k and if they dont then theyre cowards >:(
> 
> a l l my prompts are filled so no more pls i dont like having to say no :(  
for the LAST CHAPTER EXTRAVAGANZA *airhorns* i'm doing the end of peter's first year of college so if u want i can maybe name drop you somehow???? idk i'll think of a way. *gets back on topic* if u wanna be in the fic just tell me :)


	21. Clint gets Used (And other short stories)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spooder: clint fox is lost in the vents  
can you get him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by NoOneReallyGives, thanks 
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**Avengers Group Chat**

**spooder is online**

**spooder: **clint

hawkeye

archerymaster666

**vent lord lord of the vents is online**

**vent lord lord of the vents: **how dare you speak of that username

**spooder: **clint fox is lost in the vents

can you get him

please

**vent lord lord of the vents: **I was going to watch a movie

maybe later

**spooder: **:(((((((((((((((

**irondad is online**

**irondad: **Clint you better go now

I don’t want a squirrel in my air vents

And you made Peter sad and that is unacceptable

**vent lord lord of the vents: **fine

**vent lord lord of the vents is offline**

**vent lord lord of the vents is online**

**vent lord lord of the vents: **peter where is he

I’ve circled the building twice I cant find him

**spooder: **you can’t expect him to stay still in one place

he’s probably running around

you’ll have to get clever to catch him

**vent lord lord of the vents:** I don’t understand why you couldn’t gone up here yourself

**spooder: **I was going to but mr stark said no

**vent lord lord of the vents: **of course

**vent lord lord of the vents is offline**

**vent lord lord of the vents is online**

**vent lord lord of the vents: **PETER IT’S BEEN HALF AN HOUR WHERE IS HE

I AM TIRED AND I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE

**spooder: **do you have some of his food with you? You could lure him out that way

**vent lord lord of the vents: **if I don’t find him in the next 10 minutes I’m leaving

**spooder: **🅱lease just get him out I’m worried

**vent lord lord of the vents is offline**

**vent lord lord of the vents is online**

**vent lord lord of the vents: **I finally found him

we’re exiting the vents now

**spooder: **be careful! fox is very delicate! he requires a light touch

**vent lord lord of the vents: **yeah yeah

why was he in the air vents in the first place

**spooder: **no reason

**irondad is online**

**irondad: **Peter?

**spooder: **I wanted to train him to go to different rooms on command

**irondad: **You WHAT

PETER I SWEAR TO GOD

YOU’RE GROUNDED

**spooder: **YOU CAN’T GROUND ME

YOU’RE NOT MY DAD

**irondad: **PETER

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please like and subscribe, and don't forget to hit that bell icon to get notified right when I post a video *outro music*


	22. Get Yourself a Man Who Can Cook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rocket boots: hey that reminds me of that time with peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter idea by JaDePeacock, thanks  
sorry this is so late 3urhuifhuriehrfire i procrastinated for wayy too long on this
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**soft boi: **so yeah, that’s the story of how I cheated at a pie eating contest

**rocket boots: **lmao

hey that reminds me of that time with peter

**spooder: **hey

babe

if you tell that story I’m breaking up with you

**tsundere: **no you wont

tell the story coward

**rocket boots: **it was around November and peter was mega stressed and not sleeping well ☹

so he was sleepwalking

**soft boi: **lol mood

**secret small brain: **big mood

**rocket boots: **anyways one day he’s sleepwalking and I don’t wake up in time to get him back to bed

and when I wake up its because I smell something

**secret small brain: **was it fire

**rocket boots: **surprisingly no

**secret small brain: **damn it, I wanted it to be fire

**rocket boots: **…okay then

anyways it was a turkey

**tsundere: **peter what did you do

**spooder: **just listen to the story and let me suffer in peace

**tsundere: **no

**rocket boots: **thanksgiving was later that week and our roommate bought a frozen one to make

**secret small brain: **h

how did he do that

**spooder:** my mind is an enigma

idk

**rocket boots: **oh yeah and there was mashed potatoes too

I think he was planning a casserole too

**soft boi: **absolute madlad

**rocket boots: **when I tried to take him back to bed, he whispered in a really creepy voice

“would you like some fires with that?”

**secret small brain: **f ehdued I choked

**rocket boots: **it was really funny in the morning, petey apologized to the roommate and paid him back for the food he used, but the guy was laughing way too hard to take it lmao

**spooder: **and I have not recovered since, the end

**tsundere: **get yourself a man who will make you thanksgiving dinner in his sleep

**secret small brain: **Harley are you willing to share

**rocket boots: **no

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To quote Jenna Marbles: "Black Lives Matter and it should not be controversial to say so."
> 
> Happy Pride Month!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Stay safe, stay home (but also protest.) Wear masks  
Take care of your mental health!!!! Please drink your whole water bottle today, just for me :)
> 
> xxxxxxx
> 
> fun fact: the pen i was using died right when i wrote "i'm breaking up with you" so you just see the ink color change from black to blue mid sentence. thats what i get for using a cheap pen lol
> 
> next chapter is last chapter!! i can finally rid myself of this fic from hell!!! i hate this story lmao
> 
> pls comment, its like crack to me


	23. Peter's End of Year Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spooder: Guys  
Do you guys realize that today, one year has passed since we graduated from midtown 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is, the long-overdue, crappy last chapter  
<strike> does anyone even still read this lmao </strike>  
(by the way, this chapter was uploaded on the 26th where i am, but i changed the date so it would show up at the top of search results)
> 
> Name help:  
Peter > spooder  
Ned > soft boi  
MJ > tsundre  
Harley > rocket boots  
Shuri > secret small brain
> 
> Abe > ice abe 3 dawn of the dinosaurs  
Cindy > ny cindy  
Sally > essential crisis  
Betty > betty boop  
Charles > jbj is bae  
Flash > the flashhh
> 
> Tony > irondad  
Steve > rogers that  
Bucky > summer civilian  
Natasha > widow  
Clint > vent lord lord of the vents  
Wanda > little red riding hood  
Scott > the ant king  
Bruce > professor brucie bear  
Thor > god of thunder  
Sam > birb

**weirdo kweens Group Chat**

**spooder is online**

**spooder:** Guys

Do you guys realize that today, one year has passed since we graduated from midtown 

**soft boi is online**

**rocket boots is online**

**tsundere is online**

**secret small brain is online**

**soft boi:** oh yeah

That feels like so long ago now

**rocket boots:** we've become so much more... mature

**tsundere:** do you really believe that

**rocket boots:** no not at all

**secret small brain:** nothing's changed for me 

I'm still doing my research and pissing off my brother

**rocket boots: **lucky

**secret small brain:** that's right

Feel free to worship me now

**spooder:** I can't believe we're sophomores now

Remember sophomore year of high school

Man that sucked

**rocket boots:** yeah

**soft boi:** definitely

**tsundere:** would not go back

**spooder:** but now... we're in college

**soft boi:** Peter we've been in college for a year

**tsundere:** are you high or something

**secret small brain:** don't be ridiculous MJ, Peter's metabolism is too sonic for that

**spooder:** I don't know

It just feels so surreal...

**soft boi:** (psst Harley is he okay?)

**rocket boots:** (he's fine)

(do you guys want to fly back to New York)

(tony's holding a party)

**tsundere:** (sure I'll come)

**secret small brain:** (yeah)

**rocket boots:** (okay great I'll tell him now)

**spooder: **you guys realize you aren't whispering and I can see your messages, right?

**tsundere:** no idea what you're talking about

**rocket boots:** Peter, is your existential crisis over?

**spooder:** ...yeah

**rocket boots:** come here

**spooder:** why??? Did something happen?????

**rocket boots:** yeah

I wanna kiss

**spooder:** oh

Okay then

**tsundere:** get a room

**rocket boots:** no

**soft boi:** leave them alone MJ they're in love

**tsundere:** ...

never

_Story fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, this story from hell is over!! I hated every second of this!! I moved on from this fandom a while ago!!
> 
> <strike> I forgot to mention </strike> there's a Black Clover reference in this chapter, but I doubt anyone reading this will get it *sad yeehaw* The prices you pay for watching a well hated anime...
> 
> i will not add a third part to this series oh well
> 
> uhhhhhh if u like bnha then look out bc i have Things planned for whumptober
> 
> peace


End file.
